ENDANGERED SPECIES

Nope. This is not about the wildlife. In fact it is about the wild lives of Pakistanis, with the focus on my own. But the endangered species? Well, if you haven’t guessed by now, read on:
I‘ve just come back from a friend’s house where the four of us were going through the presentation we have to give regarding our project. It’s such an energy sapping task. I’m completely beat, still, let me recount the events of the day.
I got up in the morning (about 9), picked up one of my friends and went to the Power House area which is beyond the Sohrab Goth, one of the far corners of Karachi. This is where our graphic designer lives, who’s doing the 3-d modelling of our project.
Do you guys know how much it costs to get an animation produced on one of those fancy softwares. For a single second of animation, the rates are anywhere between 3-5,000 rupees! And that’s for 3-D studio max, which is fast being taken over by Maya. You can well imagine how much it would cost to get this done work on Maya.
I tell you man, this is one helluva money minting stuff; don’t know how I ended up with this engineering…….
But we are lucky to have contacts in this regard; we got the deal dirt cheap and the guy is a real pro.
So after being satisfied that the modelling work was going on fine, I went back to home, left the car( Dad needed it) and took the bus to another friend’s house. This one too lives in one of the other corners of Karachi, near Safoora Goth to be exact. Heard that name? Probably not.
Here the four of us gathered to discuss the intricacies of our project, and ended up discussing sex as usual. Among our group of friends( there are 12 altogether),I’m the undisputed expert on this topic.
So how did I end up being what ‘I am’. Well, to begin with, I took biology in my 9th grade instead of computers. Now our library had loads of biology literature, probably for the A-levelers. I went through that stuff thoroughly like a possessed scientist. Still my thirst was not quenched, so I got hold of a few sex manuals from the ‘Thela Walas’ that used to put up used book stalls in front of the newly built Expo Centre at Hasan Square. (If you are wondering where these THelas have gone, they have shifted in front of the Baitul Mukarram Masjid further down the University Road, ahead of the Pizza Hut).
I went through all those manuals too like a mad man. That was way back in 1995-96. It’s 2004 today, and my thirst is still right up there, J at least I’ve the satisfaction of knowing stuff which almost every other guy ( and gal for that matter) has misconceptions about. I have managed to enlighten many a people about the pros and cons of sex. Maybe I should have become a sex therapist or educationist. What the hell, at least I would be able to satisfy my wife big time. Lol. (The wacko continues to reside in the fool’s paradise).
So here we were, gathered to plan for the D-day ahead, and instead pondering over the perplexities of sex. It wasn’t the first time though. Our meetings usually had this hidden agenda instilled. How do gay people do it? Aren’t they disgusted? You know, stuff like that. Arshad had added some other hot pics to his already infinite collection, and we went through them like hungry wolves, desperate to get married and laid, and yet harping about how great Bachelor Life was. We knew the alternate was premarital relations, but no one brought it up. It was understood between us without saying that our lives were already hellishly complicated, and the last thing we wanted was another twist, and that also against the religion, lest it brought the wrath of God. You people must be thinking you have a pretty good idea of how ‘religious’ we are, but you don’t. We do have our limits which we don’t cross. We know that Karachiites are into the screwing around business big time, and yet we don’t risk getting a taste of it. Sex and Drugs are a definite no for us, not to mention booze. That should solve the mystery of the endangered species.
Some of you are probably aware of the fact that there are regular rave parties participated by teenagers as young as fourteen year-old (including girls!) so if you are parent living in one of the posh localities of Karachi and you notice your “Chand ke Tokray” unusually absent from home, well, now you know what they’re up to.
And if you happen to own a spare apartment in town, get rid off it; it makes a great haven of sex for your offspring, and if you are a wife, then for your husband as well!
And it doesn’t matter in which area you reside. Cricket Night matches held in North Nazimabad( the ex-posh area of Karachi) usually end with booze and brawl.
One of the favourite places of teenagers who live in apartments to make out is the rooftops, preferably in late afternoon. To agar aap ki sahib zaadi is missing, head for the top first.
Exaggerating, am I? Nope.So how do I know this stuff?
I’m a guy, remember? An apparently normal person who just happens to keep his eyes on the look out for the unusual.
It does pay rich dividends, you know. Once I caught two ‘ripe’ teenagers in the act in a garage of the ‘respected’ army area; the Askari 4! I cursed myself for not having my camera with me at that time. It would have made great viewing on the web. Probably would have propelled my blog to controversial heights.
Anything for fame, right? Even at the behest of someone’s reputation? Sure, why not?
I didn’t exhort those horny kids to screw around in public places. In fact now that I come to think of it, I could even have blackmailed them and extracted some favors, maybe even money if they were rich brats. (Do you hear the things this idiot comes up with?)
But I’ve learnt from my mistake. I keep my cam close by at all times; you never know what you may get to shoot!
So be warned Karachiites! Here I come with my ……