FLIRTING WITH DISASTER

I now am a firm believer of Murphy’s Law that anything that can go wrong will probably (read definitely) go wrong. I had noticed this law being verified now and then partially in my life, but what happened on this last Saturday; the P-day(Read D-Day), has got me converted.
From the very first minute, things started to go haywire. I was struggling with the tie when the collar button popped out conveniently.
I went to Arshad’s house with the hard drive to transfer the data, only to find out I had left out Quick Time on the other drive, which was crucial for the presentation. With no time to go back for it, the three cars including mine rushed to the destination and I almost killed a guy.
No kidding. This guy made a run for the bus that was leaving just as I was passing it at top speed. Had I not swerved wildly, it would have been curtains for that idiot. And I had decided at the very instant that I was not going to hang around to check his state if I hit him. He wouldn’t have lasted, so why to waste time by hanging around. It wouldn’t have done him any good or me for that matter.
Next thing on the menu was the power chord of Fahad’s PC, which got left behind at Arshad’s house.
The presentation got off to a grinding start; our opening batsman stuttered all the way to his miserable ending just as you would expect our cricket team to blunder.
It got better a little bit until it was my turn, then this almost bald guy comes in who doesn’t know shit about our project and goes in for the kill. To keep it short, it became a duel between the two of us, the baldy objecting to every single thing we have done and me letting out a few sarcastic remarks of my own. It was not until the coordinator of the presentation intervened that things cooled down a bit. But not me. I’m still fuming.
That very same evening the whole lot of us were supposed to have a nice evening out at Eaton, but the volatile mood of me and Bashir made sure the evening remained sour. We were to go to Sea View and have a nice little photo session and some fooling around just for old times sake. But that predictably didn’t materialize.
It is true that whatever happens is for the better brought about by the will of Allah, depicted beautifully in that story that Abez put in her blog about the man with the broken leg. But sometimes it’s simply inexplicable what good could have come out of an event. And it’s much harder to bear with patience when this happens. Even during the prayers that day, the events of the day were being rerun in my mind like some old classic.
The only thing I was able to accomplish that day was to restrain myself from watching some X-rated stuff. The rest of the lot, I’m sure, would have gone ahead. It is extremely hard to pick yourself up and put a genuine smile on your face in such a situation, especially when your mother and sister are probing about the events of the day every single minute. They make sure you don’t forget the bitter reality even if you want to. (Abbu, thankfully is not as nosy, but then, men are usually not) For me, the only escape is to watch some outrageous comedy (laughter is definitely the best medicine) or the last resort is the ‘forbidden stuff’. That night I had run out of comic stuff, Star World doesn’t air comedies late night, so the only ‘feasible’ solution was ….. Thankfully, tiredness caught up with me and I just went to sleep. Otherwise I would have definitely gone for it. It’s a real tranquilizing experience, I tell you. It washes away all your worries and frustrations just like that, and the blissful sleep you get to have after doing it is unparalleled. Okay, maybe that’s going too far, but it is second only to the sleep you get to have after having done some pretty tough task.
But it does have it’s drawbacks, even when you take religion out of the picture. Medically it is considered a harmless activity, but it does have far reaching psychological implications.
So why do I do it, a relatively reasonable and God-fearing person? You know the downsides and you still want to press on? I just can’t help it; it’s part of being a male.
Most of the time you are quite normal and may even discard your own sexual fantasies and activities as absurd, but then there are those days when you are, umm.. how do I put this; in heat, like in animals. Throughout the day you get frequent urges to pee, but when you go to relieve yourself, you find out it was a false alarm. It’s then you realize that it’s your ‘horny’ day. In those times, the slightest provocation can lead to erection and ‘more’. Do you know how easily aroused the male species are under normal conditions? Just a few images and the engine gets revved in a matter of seconds. Now imagine passing through a whole day of excited state! It’s simply nerve wracking. Some days you are able to resist the temptation while at others you just give in to your primal instinct. My only consolation is that I’m able to resist more than most of the guys. The first time I remember masturbating (it was soo long ago), it wasn’t really a work of my hands but just my mind. My exams were up; I was lying on the bed with a book in my hand and two babes in my head. I was so engrossed in the fantasy that I didn’t realize I had reached the climax when suddenly I ejaculated vehemently in my pajama. Although I was covered with enormous amount of cum all over my lower half (I still can’t figure out how Ben Stiller got it to reach his ear when he was aiming down), I was thinking, ‘Hey, that wasn’t so bad. Let’s do that again sometime.’ And guess what, it was my ‘horny’ day. So yeah, there’s no escaping this vicious condition. You’ve got to learn to live with it. The only solution: get married!
So now girls, if you ask a guy whether he has watched any explicit stuff and spent time ‘alone’ with himself, no matter how innocent and naïve and simple he may be, if he says no, you can be sure that he is a freakin’ Liar. I bet even imbeciles can’t keep their hands off their pants (remember Forrest Gump?). The only real exceptions are guys who are deeply into religion, and not those (probably including me) who are only superficially inclined towards it or in other words; it’s a matter of mood for them.
But don’t be alarmed, it’s just a phase that every male passes through; they settle down after marriage and usually become responsible husbands and fathers, umm.., most of them. What do you think your loving and caring father was like when he was at his prime? Believe you me, this species changes drastically with age!
It’s no fault of ours though. This is ingrained in our Psychology, Physiology, whatever name you want to give it. The hormone testosterone makes sure that we get sexually aroused every now and then; it’s the real culprit. We are completely innocents! :))
So what about you girls? Want to share your own sexual insights? It’s always good to hear the ‘other side’ of the story.